Inspiration

I have just come to understand the single word that captures my reason for this entire trip: inspiration. I have rejected religion throughout my life and as a seeker came to believe that what I seek is understanding, deep perception of reality, inner peace, happiness, equanimity, even nirvana. Yet, I think that when I threw out the bullshit of organized religion - all their unbelievable stories and dogma, their half truths and lies and worldly motives evilly cloaked in the supposed answer to peoples inner desire for peace and happiness and freedom from helplessness, hopelessness and the fear of death - I fell into a path of reason, rationalism and intellectualism supported by a core of agnosticism and bounded by an almost atheistic rejection of outlandish mysticism.

On this trip, I first read A Rude Awakening about a monk and his lay companion making a pilgrimage in India. I enjoyed this book, but I think it turned my mind a bit to a pilgrimage with taints of enduring the context in which I trudged and the environment in which found each site. I then delved into I Am That by Nisargadatta. It contains many snippets that I find very meaningful, that I feel hold great truth, and many that gave rise to mental query and contemplation; but, as a body, it does not speak to me. Nearing half way through I Am That I became a bit bored of it and want to write the author and tell him the title should be I Am Not!. However, one thought it raised in me repeatedly is "What is the motivation? Where is the inspiration?"

Meanwhile, I have been visiting many temples, shrines and holy places in Sri Lanka. I first noticed that many holy sites in Sri Lanka have been adopted by multiple religions through history and it is common for a site to enclose Buddhist, Hindu and sometimes Muslim and even Christian temples and shrines. Then I noticed that it is common for Buddhist temples and shrines to include altars to Hindu gods: Shiva, Ganesha, Hunaman, Kali, Lakshmi seem popular, plus an array of deities which I think are specific to Sri Lanka. It is even common to see active Buddhist monasteries with equally active shrine rooms for deities.

I just spent a week traveling by car with two Sri Lankan men visiting an array of holy sites in western and southern Sri Lanka. Although both men identify themselves as Buddhists, I noticed that they don't think anything odd about Buddhist holy sites being peppered with deities from various religions. I found they actually pray to the Buddha and also pray to an array of deities. In his car, my guide has an icon of the Buddha on his dash and wants to complete the display with four Hindu gods arranged two on either side of the Buddha (one of the Lakshmi! What outrage - a god of prosperity and wealth next to the Buddha?!?!). I remembered that on multiple occasions Sri Lankan people have commented to me that Buddhism and Christianity are "the same" and realized that some of the religious perspectives and practices of my companions is probably pretty common in Sri Lanka - that is, Buddhism plus worship and some notion of gods that will help us, guide us, protect us, save us, or even punish us (the dreaded Kali). I was initially slightly disappointed that Buddhism was thus corrupted, but this narrow opinion quickly gave way to my underlying belief that we all have a right to our own path, whatever it may be, and that we all need to be somewhere on the great path, thus all paths, as segments of the great path, are good. It is in this state of mind, a bit more open and accepting, that I encounter the writings of Martin Wickramasinghe.

There are many books that are interesting to read, many still that are of value to read, but just a few sections into Wickramasinghe's Buddhism and Culture, sections which I have multiply read, pondered over and marveled at, I believe that this collection of articles is an absolute must read.  He offers some very well-stated comments on a degenerative intellectualization of Buddhism, particularly of Theravada Buddhism, and offers a somewhat unnerving answer to my question, "Where is the inspiration?".

Perhaps it is just the state of mind I am in; you can see the wander that has brought me here. Like a lustful man encountering a desirable wench, perhaps after 50 or 100 intimate encounters it will loose its grip and, unfettered, I will wander off and forget where I laid this book. But, for the moment I sit slightly stunned, somewhat entranced, drawn and unsure if I am lured.